


Storytime - The Barista At Starbucks Refuses To Be My Boyfriend!

by Remy_Writes5



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Marauders, Social Media, Starbucks, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21533911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remy_Writes5/pseuds/Remy_Writes5
Summary: Youtuber Sirius Black tells the awkward story of trying to flirt with the Barista at Starbucks.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 687





	Storytime - The Barista At Starbucks Refuses To Be My Boyfriend!

**Author's Note:**

> I got a prompt on Tumblr for either a Starbucks AU or a Youtube AU so I decided to do both.

Sirius sat down in front of his camera and turned it on. He took a deep breath and began to speak. Talking in front of a camera wasn’t exactly difficult for Sirius since he had always had a bit of a dramatic flair. “Hi everyone!” he said, giving a small wave. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and I’m going to tell you a super embarrassing story. You’re going to like this one.”

Sirius ran his fingers through his shoulder length hair and smiled before continuing. “So people have been asking me about this because a few weeks ago I tweeted something stupid out like ‘just met my future husband at Starbucks’ not sponsored by the way, I’m just a slut for their coffee. And I would be a slut for this one guy that works there but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to ask him out.”

Sirius let a slow smile curl his mouth before biting his bottom lip. He could picture Remus so clearly in his head as he spoke about him. “This guy is just…ugh…he’s just fucking adorable. Cutest. Guy. Ever. I’m not going to say his name because some of you get a little too into my personal life. Not that I blame you, my lovelies, because my life is fabulous, but I don’t want him harassed or anything. He’s getting enough of that from me, trust me.”

Sirius sighed and did a quick zoom to do a close up on his face. “Stalking is bad kids. Do not try this at home.”

He zoomed back out. “Hold on, I need something to drink.”

Sirius cut and came back holding a Starbucks coffee cup. “This is from this morning where I made a complete arse of myself. It’s gotten to the point where this guy knows my order. I don’t even have to say anything to him, which is also frustrating as hell because I want as many excuses as possible to talk to him. So I’m there, barbeque sauce on my titties – do people even remember that vine – anyway and I ask the guy if he needs my name and he’s like oh no I know it. Which fair enough, Sirius is a pretty weird name and I’m pretty unforgettable. And I decide to be all smooth so I’m like oh do you need my number?”

Sirius took a long sip of his coffee while looking directly into the camera. “And then he goes, ‘oh no just your name is fine.”

Sirius face palmed and shook his head. “Now I don’t know if this guy is oblivious or maybe he’s just not gay. I usually think I have a pretty good instinct for that kind of thing. James said maybe he just wasn’t interested in me but like come on, bitch please. I’m fucking fabulous.”

Sirius did an exaggerated flip of his hair for emphasis. “Well I’m definitely going to see him again because I’m addicted to coffee and kind of addicted to seeing this guy too. I’ll keep everyone updated if anything happens but for now I am completely mortified. That’s the awkward as fuck story behind that tweet. Hope you enjoyed my suffering. Love you all. Until next time – mischief managed.”

***

Sirius switched on the camera and sat down with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting for his audience. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and I’ve got an update on Starbucks guy – still not sponsored, like come on Starbucks give me a brand deal already. I’ve decided we’re going to call Starbucks guy Moony. Don’t ask me why I have my reasons. So apparently Moony watches my videos. I don’t know if he did before I posted my last one about him but he definitely saw it. I mean I told him once I did Youtube and it can’t be that hard to find me with my name.” Sirius quickly did a search on his phone. “Yup, I’m the first thing that comes up. Fuck.”

Sirius dropped his head back and groaned at the ceiling dramatically for a moment before straightening back up to look into the camera. “So the next time I go into Starbucks I see Moony quickly ducking into the back room. And this redheaded devil woman is completely rude to me when I ask about him. Of course my best friend James is already in love with her because he apparently has no standards. But yeah, she’s telling me that it’s none of my business where Moony is as if I’m not the one fucking gone on him.”

Sirius scrubbed his hand over his face. “Moony, if you’re watching this and I hope you are, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’d like the chance to apologize face to face but I don’t know if you’ll keep avoiding me.”

Sirius zoomed in on a close up of his face. “Come on, who can say no to this face?” Sirius did his best pleading puppy dog eyes at the camera. “Until next time my lovelies. Mischief managed.”

***

Remus was in the middle of restocking the lids when he saw a familiar head of long dark hair. “Oh shit buggering fuck,” he cursed under his breath, ducking behind the counter. “Lily!”

“What is it?” she asked, in the middle of making a latte.

“He’s back again!”

“How long are you going to avoid him?” she asked in exasperation. “The longer you hide the more I have to deal with him and his obnoxious friend.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said sincerely from where he was crouched. “What the fuck am I supposed to say to him?”

“How about I saw your videos and while I’m not exactly comfortable with an extremely public relationship for the whole internet to see I’m also super gay for you and would like to suck your cock?” Lily shoved the sleeve onto the cup. “Mobile for Henry.”

Remus let out a small whine. He could see Sirius getting closer and he was paralyzed with indecision. He’d been attracted to Sirius since the first time he’d come in, of course he had, in fact he’d watched Sirius’ videos online and had a bit of a thing for him. He knew Sirius lived in London as well but had never imagined he would actually run into him and they had had a nice chat. But Sirius was intimidating in the way all unfairly gorgeous people were. When Sirius had offered up his number, Remus had been in such a panic that he couldn’t even think of accepting it.

He stood up when someone else approached the counter to order. He couldn’t just make Lily do everything while he hid like a frightened child. “Hi, what can I get for you?”

He could hear the door open and glanced over, already knowing it would be Sirius. He shuffled his feet awkwardly and ignored the urge to dive under the counter. He rang up his current customer and then took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself.

“You’re here!” Sirius said excitedly, his grin so large it looked like it might hurt to smile that big.

“I work here,” Remus said, cringing internally. That wasn’t exactly new information, was it? It wasn’t like Remus to state the obvious.

“Look, before you say anything I want to apologize. I’ve gotten so used to living my life online that sometimes I don’t always think about it. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my bollocks. I swear I didn’t mean to.”

“I thought you were normally swearing to be up to no good?” Remus managed to gently tease, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Sirius laughed. “So you do watch my videos!”

Remus blushed and ducked his head down. “Yeah, I have for years actually.”

Sirius took his phone and placed it on the counter. “Please for the love of all of creation give me your number. Or I can give you mine if you’d rather. I promise I won’t push for anything more than what you’re willing to give.”

Remus chewed his bottom lip as he stared at Sirius’ phone. “And what would you use my number for?” he challenged, pretending to be a bit bolder than he felt.

Sirius huffed, his breath rustling the long hair falling into his face in a pleasant sort of way. “Texting you, calling you, setting up dates, swearing my undying love and devotion. The usual reasons people want other people’s phone numbers?”

Remus picked up the phone and added in a new contact, programming his number in under Moony. Despite himself, he’d actually grown rather fond of the nickname, even if hearing Sirius say it in his videos made him go all hot and red.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, taking his phone back and clutching it to his chest as if it were something precious. “You’re wonderful.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “You hardly know me.”

Sirius winked at him. “The point still stands.”

“Undying love and devotion, huh?’”

“Only if you want it, Moony.”

Remus rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “And what would you get out of it?”

Sirius smirked and leaned over the counter. “Any chance you get an employee discount here?”

“Ah so now the truth comes out,” Remus said, chuckling softly. “Just using me for cheaper coffee.”

They were so close it would hardly take anything at all for Remus to close the distance between them and kiss Sirius. In that moment he wished he were someone a little bolder. Sirius was biting his bottom lip seductively as if he knew exactly what Remus was thinking about.

“Well I have been spending a fortune on Starbucks lately just for an excuse to come and see you,” Sirius said teasingly, looking up at Remus through half-lidded eyes. “The least you could do is lighten the financial burden.”

Remus reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind Sirius’ ear, his fingertips just barely brushing against Sirius’ soft cheek. The small gesture had taken every ounce of Remus’ courage. “You getting your usual, then?”

“Nah, I got what I came in here for,” Sirius said, standing up straight. “You don’t mind if I tweet out that I got your digits, do you? It’s just my subscribers have been following our epic love story. I want them to know it has a happy ending.”

Remus laughed softly. “As long as you don’t tweet out my actual number then it’s fine.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Sirius said, his fingers tapping away quickly as he composed his tweet. “I’m much too selfish. Want you all to myself.”

Remus couldn’t help the flutter of his stomach when he heard that. “Mischief managed, then?” he joked, trying to ignore the blush creeping up his neck.

Sirius tapped his finger against his lips as if considering it. “Oh Moony, Moony, Moony,” he said, biting his thumb as he smiled. “Our mischief is just getting started.”

***

Sirius turned on the camera and then dropped into the chair next to Remus. They looked at each other for a moment and then both started laughing. “Do you want to say it?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow at Remus.

“It’s your catchphrase, love.”

“I wanna hear you say it,” Sirius whined, putting his arm around Remus’ shoulders.

“Fine,” Remus said with a heavy sigh. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

“Damn right,” Sirius said, kissing Remus on the cheek. “For those of you painfully out of the loop, or don’t follow my Instagram where I post about a million pictures of you, this is Moony. Say hi, Moony!”

“Hi everyone!” Remus said, tucking himself further into Sirius in embarrassment. Sirius couldn’t help finding Remus being camera shy infinitely adorable.

“So we’re a little bit pissed because it was the only way I could get Remus on camera,” Sirius explained, lifting up his gin and tonic and taking a sip. “You all have been asking me to do a video with him since we started dating three months ago and I am finally giving in. On twitter I asked you to send me questions and of course we got a fuck ton of people asking who tops and who bottoms because ya’ll nasty.”

Remus snorted. “Do you want to answer that or should I?”

“Bitch, you know I’m the bottom, why ya’ll playing?”

“Not all the time though. We do switch it up on occasion.”

“True. Next question! Is Remus going to start a Youtube channel of his own?”

“Fuck no,” Remus said, shaking his head. “Do you see how uncomfortable I am right now?”

“Aw baby you’ll get used to it,” Sirius said, pulling Remus into a kiss.

“Still not starting a Youtube channel though,” Remus said, breaking the kiss after a moment or two. “What would my content even be?”

“You could do a channel on knitting or coffee or whatever the fuck you want.”

“I’m good.”

“Moony, give the people what they want!”

“Absolutely not.”

Sirius pouted and it made Remus laugh. “Fine, I’ll slowly wear his down everyone, don’t you worry. Next question! What was your first impression of me?”

Remus grinned. “I thought you were barmy but gorgeous. You kept making me blush the first time you came in because you were flirting shamelessly.”

“Guilty as charged! Gorgeous and shameless, you were pretty spot on.”

“You’re never anything less than resolutely yourself,” Remus said, gently running his fingers through Sirius’ hair. “It’s something I admire about you.”

“If you keep complimenting me like that we’re going to have to pause the video so I can ravish you.”

“Later love,” Remus said, pressing a kiss to the corner of Sirius’ mouth.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Sirius said, chasing Remus’ lips when he went to pull away. “Next question! Are we going to get married? I mean yeah probably.”

“Really?”

“Some day,” Sirius clarified, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly. “I don’t mean tomorrow. You’re like the fucking love of my life though. Why wouldn’t I want to marry you?”

Remus was staring at Sirius and Sirius worried he might have said something wrong. He could always cut that part out of the video if it made Remus uncomfortable. He was just about to suggest that they move on to the next question, his mouth opening to speak, when Remus attacked. He kissed him hard, open mouthed and needy. Sirius moaned softly and let himself be dominated by his boyfriend’s insistent tongue.

“Yeah, we’re going to need a minute,” Remus said after breaking the kiss. He turned off the camera and dragged Sirius towards the bedroom.

***

“And we’re back. Sorry about that but we had to cut or this whole video would get demonetized.”

Sirius looked at himself in the reflection of the camera lens and knew he looked thoroughly fucked. A large purple bruise was already blooming on his neck and his hair was nowhere near as tame as it had been, curling around the ends from the sweat and heat. This time instead of sitting in different chairs, Sirius had made himself comfortable on Remus’ lap.

Remus cleared his throat. “Next question?”

“Is there an animal you think represents you?”

“I have no idea.”

“I think you’d be a wolf.”

“A wolf?”

“Yeah. Total pack animal. Wolves are intelligent and friendly. They take care of their own. Loyal. But like can also fucking kill you.”

“Huh.”

“You’re a total wolf. What would I be?”

“Probably a dog.”

“Hmm, I do like the way they fuck.”

“Also loyal, friendly, easily trained – “

“You know it,” Sirius said with a wink to the camera.

“Need for attention from your owner. You also love being petted.”

“Fuck, you’re right, I’m a bloody dog,” Sirius said, his eyes widening as he took that information in. He let out a bark and then licked a stripe up Remus’ neck.

“Oi! Behave yourself!”

“Never!”

Remus shoved Sirius playfully. “Next question?”

Sirius picked his phone back up and looked for a good one. “Am I going to Vidcon this year. Fuck no. America is a scary place. Has Remus ever knitted me anything. Yes the beanie I wear all the time. Do we live together? Yes, obviously, London is fucking expensive. Which one of us likes to cuddle more? Me.”

“Definitely you.”

“You’re just so soft I can’t help it,” Sirius said, kissing Remus’ temple.

“You won’t hear me complaining.”

“You’d better not,” Sirius shot back with a knowing grin. “You can’t shag someone the way you do and not cuddle them afterwards. There’s another reason I called you a wolf.”

Remus blushed bright red. “Okay, I think one more questions before I go die of embarrassment.”

“No dying, Moony, I’d be lost without you.”

“Just ask the stupid question.”

“What is one thing that drives you crazy about each other?”

“Good crazy or bad crazy?”

“Do both.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Bad crazy I would say your tendency to be dramatic. He breaks a nail and it’s the end of the fucking world. You also steal my clothes a lot and never wash them. Good crazy I’d say the hair. And your smile. And your arse. And those leather trousers you have.”

Sirius tucked his hair behind his ear and grinned. “That was sweet. For you I’d say bad crazy is your tendency to leave your bloody books all over the flat where I trip on them. Good crazy I’d say your lips and your eyes. And the fact that you come home smelling like coffee. And your soft jumpers that are very fun to steal and wear and never wash.”

“Prick.”

“You love me.”

“God help me.”

“Love you too,” Sirius said, kissing Remus deeply. “So that’s it for this video. I hope you guys are happy that you got properly introduced to Moony. Will you say it with me?”

“Fine.”

“Mischief managed,” they said together, ending the video.


End file.
